First Meeting
by xBleedingBlackRosex
Summary: Different ways in which Kurt and Blaine could have met. Total crack! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Orange Gummy Bears

**Since school was canceled (hurricane-level winds ftw) I finally had some free time to write. So I spent all day curled up in my pajamas, listening to my house being shaken to pieces around me, sipping hot cocoa and writing in my notebook like a madwoman. My subconscious, Yelah, deemed that these crack oneshots on Kurt and Blaine's first meetings were ****_necessary_****! *brofist* lol so enjoy!**

…

Blaine did not have food allergies. He was not lactose-intolerant, not vegetarian, not religious. He was not a picky eater.

But there was one thing that Blaine Anderson would absolutely, positively _never_ eat.

Orange gummy bears.

He was sure that there must be some psychological reasoning for this resistance – some traumatic experience as a child that forever set him against the little squishy devils. Perhaps he choked on one. Perhaps he'd eaten too many and gotten violently ill from it. But what really threw him for a loop was the fact that it was only the _orange_ ones. He was fine with eating the other colors. He felt almost discriminatory. Then he would remember that they were _gummies_, and did not have any feelings to hurt.

Nobody knew about his overpowering detestation for those small orange creepers, and he planned on keeping it that way. It was not exactly a normal phobia, after all. Spiders he could understand. Heights were totally logical. But _orange gummy bears?_ They'd cart him off to the looney bin faster than he could say 'But I love the other ones!'

"Blaine, we're going to Frigid."

The boy in question frowned up from his calculus sets. "Excuse me?"

Wes repeated himself. "Now," he added just in case that had not been clear. "Let's go. Grab a coat. David's already waiting in the parking lot."

"Wh- But- I've got to-!" Blaine spluttered. Wes grabbed his arm and tugged him up from his seat, stole his pencil out of his hand, and steered him towards his wardrobe. "Wes, no! I can't! I've got to finish math, and then work on my paper for Mr. Brown, and then-"

"We're going," Wes said firmly. Since Blaine made no move to grab a jacket, he tugged his Dalton hoodie off its hanger and thrust it into Blaine's arms. "You've been stressing yourself and overworking yourself and you just need to relax! It's Friday afternoon, Blaine – none of those things are even due tomorrow!"

Blaine stopped fighting him, but that did not stop him from protesting and complaining the entire way down to the parking lot. David smirked at them and helped wrestle Blaine into the backseat of his Porsche, Wes slipping into the passenger seat. They got to the local ice cream parlor in under five minutes. Still sulking, Blaine allowed them to lead him in and get into line behind a tall boy and a black girl, who were chatting animatedly. Blaine caught enough of their conversation to realize that it was about the latest Vogue issue. He smiled in spite of himself and subtly checked out the boy – he wore white skinny jeans, black hightop boots, a long, hugging beige sweater, and a black vest. His short brown hair was perfectly coiffed. From what Blaine could see of him, he was attractive. _Very_ attractive.

Okay, maybe ice cream wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"What do you want?" David asked eagerly.

"Ooh, the fudge sundae looks so good!" Wes gushed.

"Wanna split a double chocolate chip mint bowl?" David offered. "But I want the cherries on top!"

"You guys are both _way_ too excited about this," Blaine muttered. "I'm just getting a vanilla scoop..."

They looked personally affronted by his announcement. "Blaine!" Wes gasped. "Be _adventurous_! Try something _new_! Go wild!"

"It's ice cream, Wes. Not a college frat party." They pouted at him until he caved. "Okay, okay, fine! I'll get a load of toppings. Will that make you happy?"

They shared a contemplative glance before nodding their consent and returning their attention to the menu. Blaine sighed, but smiled at their antics. They were just trying to help. He had been under a lot of stress lately. It was probably good that they got him out of his dorm room.

Plus, it didn't hurt that the brunette in front of them glanced back and flashed a smile at him when Wes gave a particularly dramatic exclamation about one of Frigid's new specials.

Okay, correction. He wasn't just 'very attractive.' He was drop-dead _gorgeous_. Blaine was proud of himself simply for not drooling. The tall boy – he must have been around Blaine's age, give or take a year – had pale, flawless skin, a full smile, and glasz eyes that danced with a playful mystery, as if daring Blaine to get to know him better.

Then the brunette and his friend stepped up to the cash register.

"A triple-scoop chocolate-strawberry swirl, please," the black girl ordered.

"And a banana smoothie for me," the boy added. Blaine nearly melted on the spot. His voice was godlike. Higher than most boys, it was true, but clear and pure. He wondered what his own name would sound like in that voice.

_Whoa. Where the hell did that come from? You don't even know the guy! Maybe I really _should_ get out more often..._

The girl turned to Mystery Man with a frown. "Oh I don't _think_ so, white boy," she scolded. "Come _on_, Kurt, this is an ice cream shop! Get ice cream!"

"No way, Mercedes," the boy apparently named Kurt shook his head. "I love you, but I love my skinnies, too."

The girl rolled her eyes, but allowed him to keep his order, muttering something that Blaine could not pick up. Kurt burst out laughing at whatever it was, though, and whispered something in return.

"Blaine? Pick your jaw off the floor, stick your eyes back in your sockets, and order your ice cream," David smirked, stepping lightly on his foot to get his attention. He had not even realized that it was their turn.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he muttered to the girl at the cash register. He order his vanilla cup – with plenty of toppings, to please his friends – and they moved off to find a table. He tried to focus on what Wes and David were saying. Something about Sectionals, he was pretty sure. His mind was still with the supermodel named Kurt. Which was strange, because usually he would just acknowledge that a stranger was attractive and then move on without a second thought.

So distracted as he was, he hardly noticed what was on his spoon until it was almost too late.

He acted out of instinct. David and Wes were too busy arguing over song selection to notice him. His hand spasmed over his shoulder, chucking the orange gummy bear as far from him as he could, resisting the urge to squeal and run to the bathroom. _Get it together, Blaine!_ he scolded himself.

He was allowed a split second of relaxation before the back of his neck was sprayed from behind with a fine mist of smoothie.

"What the-?" he gasped, turning in his seat. Kurt and his friend – Mercedes, if he remembered correctly – had taken seats at the table directly behind him. Kurt was dabbing at his mouth, grimacing into his cup. Blaine watched in horror as he stole Mercedes's spoon and fished out the orange gummy bear from his cup.

_Kill me now._

"Oh my god, I am _so_ sorry!" he said immediately, wanting to kick himself for his own stupidity. But if he did that, he'd come off as even more of a nutcase. "That was my fault – I didn't see where I was throwing that."

"I- No, _I'm_ sorry!" the boy breathed, his cheeks flushing. He handed Blaine a few napkins. "I got banana smoothie on your sweater! Oh god, it was totally an accident, I didn't-..."

They stared at each other helplessly.

Then Mercedes, Wes, and David and burst into howls of laughter. Wes banged the table with his fist, David had to turn away and hide his face in his hands, and Mercedes was rocking in her chair, cackling like a madwoman. Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look that seemed to say 'wow, your friends are are crazy as mine.' Then they joined in with the laughter. It was all they could do.

"My name's Blaine," he chuckled.

"Kurt," Kurt returned, taking the hand offered to him and shaking it. His hands were as soft as Blaine had imagined.

"Come on, I'll buy you a new smoothie," he beamed. They stood and headed towards the counter, ignoring the eyes searing into the backs of their heads. Blaine suddenly became very aware of how grunge his appearance was – his gray Dalton hoodie, his jeans, his ratty Converse, his hair that he knew was breaking from its gel mold. _Way to make a first impression._

"I guess I'll have to buy you a new sweater then," Kurt mused, still smiling. "Mercedes and I were planning on hitting the mall after this anyway...I don't suppose...?"

Blaine's face nearly split in two from grinning so widely. "Accompany you two? Sure, why not!" _Homework be damned. Wes and David would be so proud of me..._"As long as you don't think it would be too awkward or anything...We only just met, after all." He wouldn't let Kurt actually buy him a new sweater, of course, but he could not pass up this perfect opportunity to get to know him better, figure out why they'd never met before. He was sure that he would have remembered it if he'd ever seen Kurt on the street.

Kurt shook his head at once. "No, no, it'd be fun! I think. But I must warn you now, when Mercedes and I shop, we shop _hardcore_."

Blaine laughed again. He hadn't laughed this much in months. It felt good. "I'll keep that in mind..." It was their turn again, so Kurt ordered another banana smoothie and Blaine paid. Kurt offered him the first sip, however, and he accepted. While Kurt told Mercedes the plan, Blaine grabbed up his ice cream cup and waved goodbye to his friends with his spoon.

"Where are you going?" Wes demanded.

"Shopping. With Kurt," he beamed, mouth full of vanilla.

Their jaws dropped. "With-?" Wes began, then glanced over Blaine's shoulder at the other boy. "Damn, Anderson...Way to go! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Blaine scowled as David failed to hide his snickers. "You guys are both idiots."

"Don't forget about curfew!" David called after him as he joined Kurt and Mercedes at the door. He ignored them and walked out into the cool afternoon breeze. He couldn't believe it. He was going to the mall with a guy he'd _just_ met. A beautiful guy, given, but still a stranger. Yet there was still a growing urge to get to know him better, move past the stranger phrase into something closer. He felt comfortable with him; he trusted him.

_And to think that we met thanks to those damn orange gummy bears..._

…

**Silly crack fic is silly. But sometimes I simply can't control what flows out of my pen! And Yelah has far too much control over my notebook when I write crack fics. I think the only thing she won't like is how sugary-sweet I made it. But hey, what can I say, I loves me some fluff! ;D**

**Part two up soon. Review?**

**Kisses,**

**~Ripple**


	2. Chapter 2: Christmas Lights END

**Part two! :D More crack for y'all? Here you go.**

…

The holiday season hit them hard. The lights went up; the scent of cookies wafted out of windows; snow coated every surface; the malls were jam-packed. The weekend before Christmas, a few members of New Directions met up at the Westerville mall for some last minute gift-buying. Kurt had already gotten all of his necessary presents, but he was never one to pass up an opportunity to shop. Besides, the others would no doubt need his expertise.

Four long hours later, the group emerged once more from the chaos within, arms adorned with their purchases and wallets painfully empty. Finn suggested they head over to the closest pizzeria for dinner. The others were all quick to second his idea – apart from Kurt, who did not find the greasy carbs all that appealing – and as one loud, chattering entity, they headed down the street.

They were strolling through a residential area when he spotted him.

…

_I'm going to kill her_, Blaine grumbled to himself in his head for the dozenth time that day. Somehow, his sister had managed to worm her way out of helping him put up their Christmas lights that year, leaving him to do it alone. Normally, he wouldn't have particularly minded, but it was cold and the work was slow without any help, or even company.

_I bet she didn't even _have_ a date_, he mused, once more clambering up the ladder. Part of the string of lights he was currently hanging caught on a lower rung. He swore lightly, trying to tug it loose. When that did not work, he leapt back down, his left root landing in the center of the ring of lights resting in the snow.

It all went downhill from there.

…

"Oh my god...!" Kurt breathed. Leaving the others to pause and call after him in confusion, he hurried across the street towards a large white house. Its white and blue icicle lights were strung along half of the roof's edge, but the other half was dangling down into the frown lawn in a twinkling, tangled mass. He could only barely make out the boy within.

"Are- Are you alright?" he demanded when he drew close enough. Gorgeous hazel eyes peeked out at him from the bundle of bulbs. "Do you need any help?"

"No, no, I'm-" The boy tried to wave him off, but his wrist got caught. He heaved a very disgruntled sigh. Then, in a much more subdued voice: "Yes, please."

Kurt chuckled lightly to himself as he began to unwrap the lights, gradually revealing more and more of the body until, at last, a teenage boy stood before him, slightly shorter but clearly around his own age. He had dark curls, entrancing brown and gold and green eyes, and a distinctly abashed smile on his face.

_He's so cute..._

"Thanks," the stranger murmured. He stuck out his hand. "My name's Blaine."

Kurt laughed and took the proffered hand to shake. "Kurt. Pleased to meet you. You think you can handle putting these up by yourself now?"

Blaine's grin matched his own. He was reluctant to release Kurt's hand, but he forced himself to. "I can't make any promises, but..."

"I-...I could help you, if you'd like?" Kurt offered, a little shyly.

Before Blaine could answer, however, they heard a voice from behind.

"Aaaw, how cute, you two!"

They glanced over to the sidewalk. Kurt's friends were standing there, watching them with identical smirks on all of their faces. It had been Puck who'd spoken. Now everybody turned to him with raised eyebrows, even Blaine. The mohawked boy glanced around. "What? Do I sound as insincere as I feel?"

Mercedes smacked him upside the head. "You're such as asstard..."

"Whadda bitch," Santana agreed with a roll of her eyes. "Hummel, we'll go on to the pizza place. If you ever manage to drag yourself away from Lights Boy here, meet us there. Although if I were you, I definitely wouldn't be meeting up with us anytime soon..." She gave Blaine a very obvious once-over. The boy shifted awkwardly.

"Ignore her," Kurt assured. "She's always like that."

"Oh. Um...Lovely?"

"Now, let's get these lights up!" Kurt spun around and readjusted the ladder back into its proper place. His friends snickered and left, seeing that the conversation was now over. "If you hold, I'll hang?"

Blaine nodded stupidly and moved forward to get a firm grasp on the ladder's legs. Kurt all but floated up the rungs – _seriously_, Blaine sulked, _nobody should be that graceful _– and began to loop the string of fake icicles onto the little hooks with a practiced ease. Blaine gazed up at the boy, in those skin-tight black jeans and clinging silver sweater and dangling silk scarf, humming 'Let It Snow' softly to himself as he strung the lights across the roof's ledge.

_Okay, maybe I won't kill my sister after all..._

…

**Yelah wanted this one. She got this mental image of Blaine completely tangled in lights and nearly spat out her coffee in the middle of the shop she was laughing so hard. How awk.**

**Hope you got a laugh out of this! :D This is it; just two short little crack oneshots my subconscious deemed it necessary to write and post. If you want me to write any more, it will be its own separate oneshot :) Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a review.**

**Kisses,**

**~Ripple**


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